Welcome to our second edition of ” So do Teams actually look like their Franchise Names?”. Its time to put you out of your anxious wait and jump right into the AFC. Starting in the south we have the Jaguars the Colts, the Titans and the Texans. I don’t know what a Texan or a Colt is meant to look like so I’ll brush over these two anyway. Titans are in the category that the design has creative licence to do whatever they like and I like what they came up with. The light blue really highlights Marcus Marita as the true titan god that the man ( if he is indeed a man) is. Jaguars are a tough one. When you think jaguar you think a leopard print is needed. Could you imagine Blake Bortles wearing that? Even worse can you imagine Blake Bortles consistently through interceptions in that get up. They might be improving but they need some serious upgrades in the Jersey department. I am not a fan of the current jersey although i have been told I am in the minority in that thinking.
Looking west, we have a division that is at least trying. Broncos boldly going with a orange to represent the inner horse in them. And it works. Chargers are lighting up LA ( I know they aren’t but I really want to use that pun) with a charged jersey ( and that one). Look, I’m not saying it’s the best attempt but they are trying. I for one would love to see Joey Bosa head to toe in a bright yellow hurdling towards a quarterback. That’s got to make Patrick Mahomes shit himself twice a year. Speaking of Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs, surprising this jersey ties in with the chiefs theme for me. To be honest, the only reason that is because I imagine a chief with two big red cheeks. Maybe that’s what they are going for. The black and white outfit work for the Raiders. Simple one this one. Black means bad. And not sure about you but I have never met a nice raider.
The east division contains my number one pick for the team that matches its franchise name the best. I’m sure you might have guest it. If you didn’t, it is of coarse the Cleveland Browns. I like to think that the designer sat down with franchise members and wrote a list of what criteria they needed this jersey to say. I’d pay good money to see that list because they have to be trying to look like 51 pieces of shit on a pitch. I mean what do people associate with brown. Shit. The marketing strategy is genius. Top marks all round. And the better news is will the section for HBO’s Hard Knocks this year, this shit ill be all over your news feed during preseason. The Bengals are doing a good job of showing off their tigerish background. Hell, the only reason Andy Dalton is still starting is because his hair matches the jersey (Soz Andy. It was too easy). After that, the Stealers have got the feeling they will steal the game. Especially the stripped throw back jersey. The Ravens are making the effort, however, they need to switch to the black jersey all the time. That is a work of art.
And our final division is the AFC south. The Jets do not look like jets. This is a pathetic attempt no matter how you look at it. A team that just keeps giving disappointment. The patriots is a tough one but they got the colour scheme down. All they had to do was copy the American flag. Not really sure what a Bill is. Please feel free to enlighten me on this below. For now, I am going to assume that they didn’t want to be called the Buffalo Buffalos so went for the bills as it sounded cooler. Jersey wise, I like it. Does it look like a buffalo? Nope. Does it even look like a bill? I’m going to have to go with nope again. But shady McCoy does resemble an animal with bulldozing power. That might be down to the individual. And finally we come back to where we started this miraculous journey from with the Ariel look alike Dolphins. I think one clear message as come to the surface. Cleveland know that they are so shit that it’s in their name.